Often people who live with a great alcoholic spend much if perhaps, not all, of their time looking after the drinker. They worry about when ever he will arrive home, whether or not he will arrive home. They worry about what condition he will be in when he shows up home, whether he will be in a good mood or going bad for a fight.
On the one hand it protects you from the shame and stigma in the problem drinking behaviour. It hides the worst for the anguish, arguments and worry but it also cuts you far from the very people that can help, your friends.
Your self esteem will boost and your depression and anxiety levels will decrease. Developing interests outside the home and also the alcoholic will make you even more interesting and will reduce your amounts of resentment. It will help you to build a support network that could maintain you when things are actually difficult.
That means worrying about him less, stopping clearing up after your ex boyfriend and no longer making excuses for him and generally letting him experience the effects of his drinking. Arranged this is not an easy thing to do, particularly if you have been caught up during his drinking for some quite a few years.
It is a wonder that anyone living with a great alcoholic has time to do anything else, other than see on their drinker. Organisations such as Al-anon rightly suggest that anyone just who lives with an intoxicating needs to detach. That is they have to stand back from the alcohol addiction and let him lead his own life.
There is real benefits to having your own life. If you give attention to something other than your intoxicating means then you will use less time worrying approximately him and his routines. Research suggests that being allowed to remain to fend for their self can bring the reality of your partner’s problem home to her.
Most people who live by means of an alcoholic find themselves sacrificing touch with their friends. This doesn’t usually happen quickly, instead it happens over time whenever you refuse first one celebration invitation, then another. Soon there are no invitations to reject any more.
It is time to modify that situation. It is time to, not only accept invitations, nevertheless also to issue a couple for yourself. It is time to stop hiding away and to give up being secretive about the issues that you are facing. It is the perfect time to stop living in the shadow of the alcoholic and start living for yourself.
Lastly it will lower the fear of being left without any help if the relationship finally turns into unsustainable. So if you live by means of an alcoholic make sure that you enjoy a life for yourself and that you may have a network of friends and family that can support you when you need it.
One thing that may help is to ensure that you have a life of your own. As many people who live with alcoholics do, you may have been cover for your alcoholic and being sure that the world does not know of the problems. This wall of secrecy is a double edged sword.
There may be something that you’ve got always wanted to do, as an example you may have wanted to learn more about working with computers, or learn about digital photography or learn to paint. These are typically things that you can do for you.